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I lost a BIG deal recently. It might be “tabled” or it might be gone forever but for now it’s not happening. I was confronted with a unique emotional decision when I “lost” this deal. There was something inside of me that was really happy for the “could have been mine” client. As it related to our working together I was disappointed, confused and actually quite discouraged. There is a history with them though and I have a tremendous amount of respect for them. My desire for them to find success was actually larger than my own self interest. That feeling actually surprised me. I was ready to be pissed for about a month. A week after losing the deal I was trying to help them move on to another project that I would make no money from.
I am not the answer to everyone’s marketing problem. Creating a podcast, an on-line show, or a physical audio product is not the only way for brands and individuals to find success. In light of that truth, I’m not the messiah. I’m not the answer, I’m one answer.
My family is something I hold tight.
My integrity is something I hold tight.
My reputation is something I hold tight.
Potential customers are not something I hold tight. They deserve the best solution and if that isn’t me then I want them to move on. I’d rather point them to the right solution or let them move on to something else and later return to me with the relationship still in tact than try to talk them into working with me.
Cheer for the ones that get away. Help them find success outside of you. It just feels right. Trust me, I’m feeling it right now.
My name is Andy Traub and I help people tell their stories in a way that maximizes their impact. If you'd like to create your own custom channel to reach the world then I can help. Just 
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Great perspective and even greater wisdom.
@ontargetcoach Thanks brother. I hate learning this stuff but I guess its better than ignorance.
On a basic level, most people want to see others be successful. Often, it seems our drive for business gets in the way and we lose the objectiveness to realize that we are not the fix for everything. It is painful to watch but encouraging when you see someone like you, Andy, have a situation where you are self-aware enough to want others to be successful even if it is not with your help. Thanks for the encouragement
Alan, I have to say in my experience, most people actually don’t want others to succeed. That is so sad, but most people are so selfish they can’t be happy when others do well because they have a woe is me mentality. I have been shocked by this over and over. Andy is right and in an overly spiritual sense, I believe God honors us in light of our attitude when others do well. Like you, I know Andy will do well.
@Jeffdrummer In a scarcity mentality you’re right Jeff. When I think with scarcity I don’t want others to do well because they took a piece of the pie I wanted to eat from. That’s less for me. The abundance mentality is rare and it must be trained. It is NOT natural to have an abundance mentality. Thanks for commenting brother.
@AlanReeves I’m not sure I mentioned it but my desire for them actually surprised me. It’s easier to just be pissed, to blame and to carry a grudge. At least it SEEMS easier.
@andytraub It always seems easier but taking the high road, if nothing else, lets you feel better in the end.
Situations like that suck but they happen. At least you had the right attitude and was able to leave it and move on.
@Joe Lalonde Part of moving on was writing this post and part of moving on is helping them as much as I can. It reminds me of a pastor’s advice when someone tells him that they don’t feel close to God. He tells them to go serve. Go do God’s work and then you’ll feel close to Him. Stop focusing on yourself and then you’ll see Him. Somehow that idea is related.
Absolutely. Burning bridges won’t do any good. Instead, place hooks.
The littlest things you can do to help them, even if they aren’t your client, can go a long way into placing hooks in their mind. Like a good song that gets stuck in your head, your hook might be your expertise on some topic. So every time they think about that topic, they remember you.
And who do you think they’ll call when they need help with that topic?
@hirstmusic I agree 100%. The real test is that they may never call. Will I still help them knowing they’ll never call? I hope I’m that pure in my motivation. I hope.
Andy,
You chose the higher road. And for that, you should be proud. It’s not always easy, but it’s always what’s best.
I agree, its very tough to take; however, the few times it has happened it always has been the best thing, either for me or for them or for both of us! Thanks for sharing.
Dude, that blowZ with a capital Z. At least it helps me know you are human. If you ever need to feel successful, let me know. I’ll tell anybody about your total awesomeness! Way to choose the right response, Andy.
@TheCallofMen Thanks brother. I hope I can hold on to that attitude. Writing this post is part of the accountability to do just that.