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There are only two reactions I get when I tell people that my first book is about learning the habit of rising early. Not being a morning person is an excuse, not an explanation.
1. I need to do that.
2. I could never that. I’m not a morning person.
The subtitle of the book is “Learning to rise early in 30 days”. It’s not “Because you’re a morning person anyway so wake up early for the next 30 days.”
It’s not a fact
“I’m not…” is an excuse we claim as fact. Below I compiled a list of lies we tell ourselves, men and women, single and married, young and old. Excuses are reasons we tell others and ourselves that allow us to stay the same. Tweet That
Excuses never go away
My five year old son woke me up at 3:30am when he climbed in bed with me. He was my excuse for not getting up when my alarm went off at 5:30am. I got up anyway because excuses will never go away. You always have the option of making excuses but you also always have the option of not accepting your excuses and living as if they’re lies. Some of your excuses are lies that you’ve said so long that you believe them to be true.
I want us to stop lying to ourselves. There are several excuses on this list that I continue to believe and that I need to stop saying and most of all stop believing. What are your excuses on the list? Do you have even more? You can choose to embrace them or reject them.
My heroes don’t use excuses
People I want to become like don’t use excuses. Tweet That They don’t have reasons for not doing things that are good and difficult. Successful and happy people find a way to get past their own excuses and the ones the world offers them. Today, list your excuses and then start rejecting them. If that sounds simplistic then good. It’s not that complicated so you can do it and so can I.
- I’m not good with numbers.
- I’m not a morning person.
- I’m not an athlete.
- I’m not smart.
- I’m not coordinated.
- I can’t spell.
- I can’t cook.
- I can’t understand computers.
- I can’t make that much money.
- I can’t help you.
- I’m not able to give that much.
- I’m not as good a mom as her.
- I can’t meet new people.
- I don’t like dating.
- I’m not attractive.
- I don’t like organized religion.
- I’m not a reader.
- I can’t stop working.
- I’m not good with money.
- I’m not good with details.
- I’m not the parenting type.
- I’m not interested in that.
- I can’t stand for it to be that quiet.
- I don’t like change.
- I’m not that interesting.
- I can’t start a new career.
- I’m not creative.
How to stop lying to yourself
Replace “I’m not” with “I’m working on becoming”
Replace “I can’t” with “I’ll figure out how to”
Replace “I don’t” with “I’m going to try to”
Replace “I don’t like” with “I’m trying out”
Replace your assumptions and excuses with possibilities and attempts. Or just stay the same. What excuse do you need to reject today?
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Tonight I called home from my trip to Nashville and talked with my wife about her day. At 10:08 I looked at my phone and said, “I need to let you go. I’m getting up early tomorrow.”
My wife replied, “Ok, but you say that you’re getting up early every day and you don’t.”
She’s right. I set my alarm for 5:30 or 6am every night but rarely answer its call when it rings. I have been living as if my intentions mattered as much as my actions. Decisions aren’t actions, they intentions that we still haven’t delivered on.
Here’s my alarm for tomorrow.
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Men try to give off an air of confidence but most wives are surprised to learn where that confidence comes from. Watch this video to find out where we get our confidence.
Wives, do these three things
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This is a passage from a book on marriage that I’ve been writing for the last few months. It is unedited for grammar and content. You can send it to read on your Kindle device by clicking the button below.
Lonely 3 by http://www.sxc.hu/profile/imaspy
The greatest lie is also the most commonly believed lie.
We believe we’re the only ones who are going through what we’re going through. We believe our experience is unique. We know it’s not true. We know that someone else somewhere is feeling the pain, frustration or confusion that we’re feeling but still we think we’re the only one. We know the truth is that we’re not alone but that message doesn’t make its way to our hearts. Do you remember going to a haunted house? Not the real kind, the ones that charge you to then do their best to scare the crap out of you. Does anyone in line for the “haunted house” really believe that anything they’re about to see is real? They know the truth but that truth is not as strong as their experience. Our present reality is always stronger than a preexisting truth. Our reality, our experience is more valid than the truth that we’re not alone. Trying to believe that we’re not alone is like trying to carry on a conversation while a baby cries. There are some influences that will always win. There are some voices that will always be heard over the others. The voice that tells us, “You’re the only one.” Is the voice we believe more than any other.
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Here’s another excerpt from a book I’m writing about marriage.
You can download the .mobi file of the 25,000 word book to put on your Kindle by clicking here.
You can send this post to your Kindle for easier reading by clicking on the button below.
“You are not my enemy”
When an enemy approaches we are on guard. Every movement could be the one that is meant to harm us. Every word must be analyzed through the filter of skepticism. This is how I treat my wife.
When we arrived home from our honeymoon in the western half of South Dakota (picture Mount Rushmore the Crazy Horse Memorial and lots of buffalo) we unpacked and drove 15 minutes to attend a marriage conference. Weekend To Remember is a conference hosted by Family Life, a phenomenal marriage ministry. The conference covers everything a couple needs to know to succeed in marriage. They discuss money, emotions, arguing, kids, romance, sex and personality differences. Of the 15 hours of conference time I remember one moment more than any other. They instructed us to turn toward our spouse, look in their eyes and say, “You are not my enemy” . It seemed silly at the time but it would prove to be one of the most important moments in my married life. It may be the reason I still have a married life.
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