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Real talk about self employment and its role in a family.
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Non-Conformist Family Show
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Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Real talk about self employment and its role in a family.
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- Family update:
Vienna fell down the stairs (8 or 9 steps) for the 1st time; barrel rolled down ‘em… she’s totally fine.
Piper… confessed that she pushed her sis down the stairs.
Did a photo shoot w/Baby #3 (aka ultrasound)… baby bump starting to reveal
J+S: WE SLEPT STRAIGHT THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!
Other family… Jenny and Kirk McCutcheon http://www.exconsumer.com – They’ve been very open about their financial journey – and it’s been really encouraging and inspiring to engage with them! I’ve been able to get know Jenny (trading blog posts, Skype calls, tweets, facebook stuff, etc…) She’s awesome.
Self employment and my family.
2 years ago, Sarah and I made the decision that I would pursue self-employment. In my work situation at that point, I was very frustrated, very unfulfilled, and not challenged. I brought that angst home (despite my best efforts), and impacted my family.We were both attracted to things like wicked awesome control over our schedule, work focus income, etc… I was especially attracted to the ability to spend lots of time w/my kids, etc…
It’s been 14 months since then, and I think we’re hitting the next level. The past year has had a lot of great new changes: more time and location mobility, the chance to pursue whatever interested me, etc… but a lot of new stressors as well (financial, marital pressure, etc…). A lot of those stressors came to a head 2 months ago when Vienna was hospitalized (see episode 7). Out of that pressure cooker experience, Sarah and I are continuing to define, sharpen, and tweak our lifestyle.
Essentially, over the past 18 months of my freelance career, I’ve done a lot of ‘thrashing’ – jumping from random job to random job. I’ve been pretty unfocused in that regard. The lack of focus meant I felt scattered inside – which impacted Sar and the kids. I wear my emotions on my sleeve, and when Dad is frustrated, or anxious, or whatever – everyone can tell.
I’m believing more and more strongly that my family needs stability from me, and realizing that more recently has inspired some significant changes.
Since February, I’ve been working on a big deal that I’ve just recently signed. It’s a 2 year commitment, and will take up the majority of my work focus. It will bring more stability to our finances for sure – but I’ve also structured the deal to include things like profit sharing, and business equity. By removing a lot of the up and down craziness of our finances, I’m giving myself the environment I need to give my family emotional stability.
Great resources…
1M21K (1 month to $1K Challenge) – 30 day challenge to use your strengths to earn an extra $1000 per month for your family http://www.thenonconformistfamily.com/1m21k
No More Mondays – podcast, book, etc…
48 Days to the Work You Love
Coaching from Josh?
Quitter, by Jon Acuff
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Feedback@Takepermission.com
Running Time 54:24
Leave Feedback for the Non-Conformist Family at:
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Josh and his wife discuss stuff every couple deals with but most never talk about. There are a few giggles but mostly awesome wisdom from two honest people.
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- Family update:
- Vienna: Walking like a monster, developing a new type of crying… It’s called “The Wide Open Mouth”, or (depending on the context) “The Deep Yawn of Despair”.
- Piper: starting to get into make believe… ball of yarn turned into a kitten, then a scary monster, then yarn again. Phew. Informed us of her decision for a life partner (Angus)
- Sarah + Josh: pregnant
- Other family…. is “the other couple(s)”… anyone in your life who is passionate about marriage, and willing to work really hard. We want to especially acknowledge Shawn + Julie, Andrew + Lauren.
Andy? Who is it for you?
Main topic – sex and marriage
- importance of sex… Yes, sex is a huge component; but great, satisfying sex for both husband and wife comes from developing intimacy!
- Sexual intimacy-and the physical pleasure
- Emotional intimacy-and the excitement of romance
- Intellectual intimacy—and the sharpening of minds
- Spiritual Intimacy—and the depth of meaning
- Intimacy is like an iceberg – and sexual intimacy is the part that you can see. Sexual intimacy is like the tip of the iceberg: below the surface are intellectual, emotional, and spiritual intimacies. Josh especially, make the mistake of trying to improve sex alone—it doesn’t work in a sustainable way!
- The answer? Focus on developing intimacy, and the sexual experience will improve automatically!
- care and feeding of…
- It’s super easy to allow the little things to slide, and before you know it, the personal expressions of intimacy that we’d normally share are absent from our day to day life:
- private conversations
- laughing together
- cuddling and having sex
- sharing passionate kisses
- Things we’re committing to do:
- Have the right perspective.
- this morning (and every Sunday) was rough. I (Josh) had to force myself to step outside of the situation to assess what was really going on. Bringing that perspective and presenting it to Sarah was really important – and instrumental to us ‘turning the morning around’
- Talk a lot. Work hard to draw out your spouse.
- ‘How are you doing? Really?’
- ‘What are you thinking about?’
- Hows your relationship with God (funny story)
- How did _____________ go for you today?
- Pray together – bring God into the situation. Remind yourself of his involvement.
- multiple times a day… in the middle of a stressful situation… whenever you think about money… when the kids are being butt heads… etcetera etcetera. Use negative feelings as a prayer-trigger.
- The Prayer Experiment – for provision. Define what you need, and ask God for it all the time. (link to sermon audio)
- Be proactive about being healthy. Sleep. Eat well. Exercise
- Stay encouraged. Read, listen to music, pray.
- Be cautious about what you focus on. AVOID SELF PITY. HUGE TRAP. That will sink your relationship like a freaking stone.
- be intentional about physical affection
- give your marriage the best of you
- keep saying I love you!
- Great resources…
- The-Intimate-Couple.com
- http://www.ercf.ca/index.cfm?i=2203&mid=18&g=4141
- 7 Day Sex Challenge ebook
Running Time 54:24
Leave Feedback for the Non-Conformist Family at:
615-200-TAKE (8253)
Feedback@TakePermission.com
http://www.takepermission.com/feedback/
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In this emotional episode Josh discusses the life-changing week he had with his daughter in the hospital and the lessons he learned.
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Show Notes:
- Family update; we’re all pretty exhausted.
- Vienna: spent 5 days in the hospital with RSV that developed into pneumonia. Basically, she could have died. But she didn’t – which is really fantastic.
- Piper: spent a week being sick, just before ‘Enna got sick. She’s 98% recovered.
- Sar + Josh: tired, tired, tired. It feels like we’re smack in the middle of a marathon, and it’s super hard.
- 3 week timeline: Piper gets sick, Vienna gets sick, Vienna gets hospitalized, s*** hits the fan:
- 68% blood oxygen (a healthy reading is 98%)
- super lethargic
- difficulty breathing
- high temperature
- not eating/drinking
- on oxygen, iv within 25 minutes of arriving at the hospital
- x rays (2) confirm RSV developed into pneumonia
- money stuff, too…
- dealing with the fallouts…
- Other family
http://awelltraveledwoman.tumblr.com/
Bekah Stewart is a single mom (26 yrs old) with two little boys; she’s been through some ridiculous challenges over the past year (including husband who cheated and left her, and the subsequent separation/parenting challenges). Her blog, A Well Traveled Woman, has been super inspiring to us.
While our kids were sick, Sarah and I worked through her entire Tumblr feed (about 800 pages). The type of lifestyle she posts about really resonated with us in a new way – and we’re shifting our direction to reflect that.
- increase focus on outdoors
- increased focus on simplicity
- increased focus on family, relationships, and local community.
http://www.facebook.com/NonConformistPa
Main topic – how the Insanity has impacted our life
- impact on our marriage
- No sex for 3 weeks (longest drought of our 4.8 years of marriage) – has led to some challenging, yet awesome conversations… more on that next episode
- expectations
- communication
- lotsa stuff.
- We’ve had a long period of weird tense-relaxation… our kids have been sick (causing stress), but our life’s ground to a halt, so we’re not doing much. Out of that weirdness, a lot of really interesting conversations have sprung up.
- sort of like another weekend of coolness and skulduggery, actually…
- in the midst of our kids’ illness, we’ve realized that we need a course correct. We’re moving forward (which is awesome), but we need a shift in direction:
- more outdoorsy
- more ‘simplicity’
- cooking great food
- much more creative expression
- open schedule
- not too much $$
- more music
- Sar and Josh are each spending focussed alone time with each kid.
- Josh being much more intentional about having sustained fun time with P+V every day… favourite games are hide and seek, drawing on the whiteboard, and tickle wrestling.
- Sar and Josh are having lots of significant conversations about our family, marriage, etc…
- impact on the NCF
- We feel we’ve hit a new chapter in our lives – and the website will shifting to reflect that… we’ll be re-organizing things, rewriting our about page, etc…
- impact on my work:
- Josh recruited a team of people to help with his contract
- writer, photographer
- Josh diversifying his income streams more
- new style of coaching, beginning to focus on getting my next job
Next episode
Sarah’s our guest (for real this time!), and we’ll talk about marriage, sex, and the root of evil adventure.
[/box]Running Time 45:12
Leave Feedback for the Non-Conformist Family at:
615-200-TAKE (8253)
Feedback@TakePermission.com
http://www.takepermission.com/feedback/
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Right-click here to download the episode or listen on your mobile device
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Show Notes:
Family update
Vienna: 4 out of the last 6 nights she has only woken up 1 time. Holy joyous awesome…
Piper: Got home from a meeting w/a client and she was by herself in the kitchen grinning away, propped up on a stool, talking to herself, and washing dishes. Is that normal?
Sar + Josh: office for Josh has been taking up a lot of our focus. Converting the furnace room into our office. We’re spending a lot of time talking about how to improve our home
Another family we worship
Matt and Karen Langdon (from TheHeroCC.com) – pushing us to be purposeful about planning adventure (esp. through travel). We’re doing a 6-8 week Europe trip with them. They make sacrifices during the year in order to fund their yearly trips.
Main topic
Setting goals for your family: The Weekend of Coolness and Skulduggery
What are the themes?
Less is more – Electronics, meetings, weight, cluttered home, trips to the grocery store.
Create space – Physically at home, physically in the abs, and in the schedule
Equipping ourselves – Entertain others,
Overview of format. What our weekend looked like (esp. w/an 11 month old)
General Observations:
how we’ve grown since 2011… how the types of goals we’re setting today are different than they were 12 months ago… setting goals for our kids… being really honest with ourselves (esp. me… I don’t always like to admit to myself what I’m thinking)
Next episode
Sarah’s our guest! We talk about marriage, sex, and the root of adventure.
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Running Time 39:30
Leave Feedback for the Non-Conformist Family at:
615-200-TAKE (8253)
Feedback@TakePermission.com
http://www.takepermission.com/feedback/