The songs that they lead us in singing at church create a problem for me. In order to sing them I have to lie. Did you realize that your worship leaders are leading you in being dishonest? I want to encourage you to take permission to stop singing at church.
Chris Tomlin is undoubtably the most popular worship leader of my generation and it’s hard to go through a service without hearing one of his songs. When I sing his songs I’m usually lying. For instance here’s the first verse of his song “Not To Us”.
“The cross before me the world behind
No turning back, raise the banner high
It’s not for me, it’s all for You
Let the heavens shake and split the sky
Let the people clap their hands and cry
It’s not for us, it’s all for You
I’m sorry to be such a downer but is it really “all for You”?
Is there really “not turning back”?
Do I really “raise the banner high”?
Why do we sing this stuff week in and week out if it’s just not true in our life? I just can’t get in the mood to celebrate singing things that aren’t true of me or of most of the Christians I know.
No one ever says anything about me not singing and at the end of the service I don’t feel like a liar. It works out pretty well. Sing the songs that are true or just sing the verses that talk about how good or Holy God is. That’s all true. Sing what’s true.
I’ve decided to give myself permission to stop singing and several other things that I thought I “should” be doing. As Brennan Manning once said, “Quit shoulding all over yourself.”
Are you going to sing less at church? Am I sacrilegious?
(Hat tip to my dear friend Cliff Ravenscraft for some added thoughts that helped me shape this post a bit.)
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I’m with you Andy, but I probably go a step further – I’m really no fan at all of “worship” music. I spent a lot of years in a more old-school traditional church where a lot of the songs were written long before I was born, with some good, new stuff thrown in here and there. My wife loves the music at service, I tolerate it.
Yeah, i tried to stay away from the “style” discussion because that’s not the point to me. The lyrics are what cause me struggle. It’s about honesty and no matter when the song was written I just want to be honest with myself and God when I worship. Thanks for the comment.
Did I mention I also SUCK at singing?
I agree Andy – the lyrics make me struggle too – in a few different ways. I probably should have been a little more clear. The things you mentioned are most definitely on my mind too during service. But, I would also agree with Mary that even with those songs with which I do struggle, I’m reminded of who God wants me to be, and who he is trying to help me to become.
For me, I have to remember to focus on the substance – not the sentimentality that is so prevalent in contemporary “worship” songs.
I read this post a couple weeks back that approaches it from a slightly different perspective. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/thepangeablog/2012/06/18/our-god/
I kindly disagree. Worship is part aspiration, a longing to give my all to Jesus. While I may fail to “give it all,” I nonetheless honestly mean it when I pray it or sing it. It’s not lying. It’s longing. And in that helpless, needy place of longing, God often interferes, interjects, and interweaves His Spirit within me, giving me the unction to actually do what I sing.
If I chose to never sing an aspirational song, I’d miss out on God’s activity, where He transforms my weakness into His strength.
I think we’re looking at two sides of the same coin my friend. We both aspire to be more and that either allows us to sing or in my case causes me to withhold my singing. As long as knowing Him more and His love more intimately is our goal I’m glad you’re singing and I’m glad I’m not. THanks for commenting friend. I deeply respect your opinion.
I feel you, Andy. That said, I just consider such lyrics as a prayerful goal, not as a current, unbroken reality in my life or anyone else’s-works for me.
My struggles are with worship songs that are pathetic from a musical or creative standpoint, i.e., if you like the first line, you’ll love the next 10, as they are exactly the same. Not infrequently, it’s a new tune the worship leader just wrote and tried to slip in among the “classics.” When those songs are “inflicted” on me, I just remain seated and pretend to pray- works like a charm:)
Why not really pray while you pretend to pray? I often pray for my critical spirit. It’s on overdrive at church way too often. Thx for commenting brother. I hope you can get that sorted out. Oh, and do pray for me while you’re in that deep prayer time will ya?!
I agree Andy. Most of the songs sung, whether a chorus or hymn, are more about what we would like to be able to sing/do. I know that many songs I don’t sing because I am not living out the words or because I feel like a hypocrite if I do.
I don’t think we are being sacrilegious, I think we are being human. David wrote many great songs/psalms. We just need to pick the right one to sing. Our focus of worship should be on God and His glory- not on us and what we will do. Let’s praise Him for what He will do.
Rob,
It’s not the style of music per se. I think it is more the lyrics. Modern lyrics are more love songs than worship. Hymns have their place and their issues.
Even in Amazing Grace, I feel bad singing the 1st verse,
“Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see. ”
“But now I see”, that may be true, but do I really see?
From “The Old Rugged Cross”:
Till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
And exchange it some day for a crown.
I don’t always cling to the old rugged cross, I slide away from time to time. If I truly clung to it, I would handle life a lot differently.
Fortunately God knows our heart.
I could sing Amazing Grace all day long. That one’s true! Great point about God knowing our heart too. That matters..a lot more than if or how we sing.
I used to feel as you do, Andy. It would particularly bother me when we sang a popular communion song whose chorus ends with, “In all I do, I honor You.”
But now, I’m with Mary. For me to sing a line in a song that I am not quite living up to is a prayer. It’s my declaration, “I believe; help my unbelief.” God knows my heart, and He knows when I sing those “aspiration” lines, I am telling Him, “This is how I want to live, God, but I desperately need Your help.”
I’m grateful you can sing through that. For me I just can’t, instead I have a conversation, usually involving repentance about why I can’t sing that line. Same result for both of us. I think the people around me also appreciate that I have internal dialogue…I couldn’t carry a tune if it was implanted in my skull.
I just quit going to church all together.
Here’s what I have found though… While I have certainly traded in my relationship with religion (Or performance based Christianity) for an meaningful, life changing, relationship with my Father in Heaven through Jesus Christ, I would not be so bold as to write a blog post titled “Why You Should Stop Going To Church.”
I’ve been thinking about starting a new t-shirt line with this phrase: http://share.gspn.tv/Hprm
Yes, a blog post title like you have chosen here will certainly get more people to click on your link and read what you have to say. However, many people, even those who clicked the link and read your post, will actually “stop listening” when you start telling them that they are wrong for doing what they are doing. That will immediately put them in a position to defend their actions.
Whereas, if this blog post were titled…. “Why I stopped singing at church,” you would likely get a few % less number of clicks, you could like communicate the message in a way that is more disarming and would allow people to empathize with your thoughts and be less defensive of the fact that they do enjoy singing these songs at church.
So for me, I would have started this post by saying…. “I have found that the songs that we are typically led in singing, at church, have been creating a problem for me. In order to sing them I, feel like I have to lie. I don’t think that worship leaders are intentionally leading me to be dishonest. However, I have decided to to take permission to stop singing at church.”
Okay… Actually, if it were me, Andy, I would have actually ended that statement that “I’ve decided to give myself permission to stop attending these weekend gatherings that many people call “church” all together.”
Love your heart brother!
Cliff
Tweaked my ending a bit but kept the headline. Love you too bro.
Nice touch brother!
Phone typing. This will be short. Many lyrics are focused on us (how we feel, declarations)..those are songs that I struggle with too ex: “you are my everything”. Worship songs are those that just have truth about God. Those are safe to sing because they are always true. Some songs seem to be about how great we are for having such stellar faith…or not.
Love her…(that’s my wife).
Listening – in silent prayer – being truly receptive – is a true gift. Rarer, but arguably far more important than simple, empty, noisy, clashing-symbol, clanging-gong worship.
Amen.
Hey Andy,
I encourage your honest pursuit. We need more folks in church that are real. We need leaders that help us meet with God where we are and take us toward maturity.
I have known that struggle myself. I blogged about it once (http://adlibmusic247.blogspot.com/2010/04/highways-to-zion.html) but it’s always a choice. I want to be that guy…that seems lost in connecting with Jesus for…apparently no reason
We should be careful of the lyrics we sing. I have caught myself not singing certain lines, because I felt saying them was a lie at that moment. As also pointed out though, I often see it as saying you are happy and putting a smile on your face to push through that break through. In fact this last Sunday one of our Pastors opened it up for people to come up and share a few words. I shared about fire and how you can use the coals from the night before to start the mornings fire quickly. Ideally we should have put air and kindling and wood on the coals before service, so we are not using the blessing that is corporate worship as a time to restart the days fire, but already be ablaze as we come together.
Sometimes I feel like I cannot sing certain lines/songs, so I kneel in the back and pray/be in God’s presence. I defiantly see a difference when a few people in the body see the “funeral like atmosphere” as one of our Pastors pointed out one week and they started stirring up the body during worship and then real breakthrough happened.
A few words, not to be on one side of the coin or the other.
Thank you for your open heart Andy. Thank you for sharing your feels and thoughts with us.
K, bye
Needed that encouragement brother. Thanks. Kinda got some push back but I guess that’s healthy for the conversation. Hopefully we all think more about what we’re doing than we did the week before. Introspection is healthy.
Andy,
Thanks for the post. I want to capsulize what I think is the issue. Essentially, you don’t want to sing a song that you haven’t applied in your life. For example, if you haven’t turned away from the world, you don’t want to sing as though you have. Your response, as a matter of conscience, is to not sing. The issue isn’t so much the status these lyrics express, but rather the disconnect you feel in your life.
The question then is, what gets you a step closer to the expression of the music? Not singing might sooth the conscience a little, but does that get you closer to being able to sing? I think your solution has a short-term gain and a long-term challenge.
One of the key “good news” aspects of the gospel is that God came to us, rather than waiting for us to get to him. We don’t have to be perfect to read his Word, sing truth, or even preach the gospel. If this were the case, I could not be a pastor. For me, to stop singing or preaching or… would mean that I have stopped embracing the grace of God.
Secondly, in response to that sense of disconnect (or hypocrisy), there is a need for both humble acknowledgement and verbal aspiration. In essence, I will speak/meditate/sing what I want to be true. The Apostle Paul expressed it this way, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Paul, I think you just graciously nailed it on the head! (or maybe on the heart) :O
I promise you that being reminded of my short-comings and therefore not singing something does not “sooth the conscience a little” as you said. In fact, it is making me more aware of my failures and that I must come humbly to Him so that I can sing those things and mean them.
Realistically most people aren’t even paying attention to what they’re singing in my opinion.
Thanks for your input Paul. I appreciate you very much.
I’m in total agreement. I especially think of the songs that really don’t make any sense.
‘…I am here to buy gold refined in the fire
Naked and poor, wretched and blind I come
Clothe me in white
So I won’t be ashamed’
seriously. What does that mean? I’m with you, If a song isn’t a reflection of my heart, I think I’m better off not singing those word.
Sorry if this ends up sound more abrupt than it’s meant. It’s really just an explanation of that specific song. I can see how the lyrics are probably obscure, but that line comes directly from Revelation 3:18 (http://bible.cc/revelation/3-18.htm). This is the part of the book where Jesus is addressing the major church bodies directly about their relationship with him.
To quote the ISV version: “Therefore, I advise you to buy from me gold purified in fire so you may be rich, white clothes to wear so your shameful nakedness won’t show, and ointment to put on your eyes so you may see.”
It’s from the letter to the church at Laodecia, and I actually think the whole passage is powerful:
“To the messenger[h] of the church in Laodicea, write:
‘The Amen, the witness who is faithful and true, the originator of God’s creation, says this:
15‘I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were cold or hot. 16Since you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I am going to spit you out of my mouth. 17You say, “I am rich. I have become wealthy. I don’t need anything.” Yet you don’t realize that you are miserable, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. 18Therefore, I advise you to buy from me gold purified in fire so you may be rich, white clothes to wear so your shameful nakedness won’t show, and ointment to put on your eyes so you may see. 19I correct and discipline those whom I love, so be serious and repent! 20Look! I am standing at the door and knocking. If anyone listens to my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he will eat[i] with me. 21To the one who conquers I will give a place to sit with me on my throne, just as I have conquered and have sat down with my Father on his throne.
22‘Let everyone[j] listen to what the Spirit says to the churches.’”
The song is “Light The Fire”, and it’s about asking Jesus to come in where we need him, which is everywhere.
I agree wholeheartedly. And I think that the deeper problem is what we call “worship.” When a song truly glorifies God by declaring who He is, what He has done, and what will be (i.e., “Every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,”) we don’t have to worry about whether we “feel it” or really even whether we agree with it–We can know that when the song’s lyrics uphold Biblical truths about who God is, we needn’t worry about our present disposition before declaring those truths in worship to Him.
But when we use “worship” time to sing songs whose primary lyrics consist of “I, me, my, I will,” etc., then just like you said, we have to stop and make sure we’re not just lying to God and the world about what we’re going to do for Him in the name of enjoying the music and environment.
I regularly scan the lyrics before I sing them to make sure I agree with the truth implied by them. Sometimes that means being able to close my eyes, lift my hands, and sing at the top of my lungs. But other times it means I just have to be silent for a verse or two.
Before I fully comment here, let me say a couple things in introduction
1. I’m a worship leader at my church (http://the-vineyard.org) and my wife is the head Worship Pastor. We both volunteer. I’ve been doing this actively since 1999, with a brief break of a couple years where I where I was figuring things out in my relationship with God and was trying to figure out what I was really up there for. Both of these things shape my perspective.
2. I know this isn’t probably true for everyone here, but it seems like at least a few people here have never actually had a truly intimate experience in worship, and I think if that’s true for anyone here, that really does make all the difference.
So here goes:
I have loved worship time since age 11, when I first set foot in Vineyard Christian Fellowship (http://www.vineyard-stl.org/). I’ve been in church my whole life, with a variety of exposure to worship music, mostly of the Pentecostal / Charismatic variety. In fact, the church we had left a few months earlier had a very elaborate worship band. Keep in mind, though, this was around 1988-89, long before Chris Tomlin or anyone like that ever came on the scene. So we’re talking full orchestras, singers dressed up in “sunday best”. In other words, very elaborate, and to me, especially at my age, unapproachable. I hated it and I was bored.
What they did differently at Vineyard was that they put the relationship with Jesus first, and put polish way down the list. No suits. No ties. No dresses. Not even khakis. Jeans, shorts, t-shirts, etc., were the dress code. And the songs were definitely “love songs”, but the kind that only seem shallow if you have no context for them. And they used guitars, keyboards, drums, bass, etc. I’m sure that seems trite now, but in 1989, especially in the Midwest, it wasn’t.
The most important thing, though, is that we actually met with God during those times. I learned to really love Him out of those songs. People would stick around for 45 minute worship times every Sunday because Jesus would show up, they’d feel His love, and they’d actually go away healed. They would actually have a relationship with Him that stuck. It actually changed how they lived, myself included. This is why I didn’t give up on learning to be a musician and worship leader myself. I now appreciate much more deeply what goes into that process from the other end, and believe me, it can get much harder to keep perspective when you’re the one trying to pick songs and listen to Jesus in the process.
So I guess what I have to say is if you don’t experience that intimacy in your singing, you should probably spend some time trying to figure out why. It could just be that you’re just singing the wrong songs, or maybe you just don’t know what a good worship service feels like. It may very well be you need to leave the church you’re a part of to start the search, but I think you shouldn’t stop til you’ve actually found it. If you need help finding it, I’m honestly willing to help, since I think I’ve actually figured something out in this area of my life.
I’m a huge fan of this ‘iron sharpens iron’ conversation.
Well sparked, Andy.
- Josh
It is difficult for me to relate to this…Gregoian Chant is not very catchy for singing along
but it does nicely stir the soul for interior conversation with God.
So, Andy, I do not usually sing at church (Latin Mass in my case) because it’s either the chant, pipe organ instrumental or a beautiful polyphonic piece from the choir (Palestrina etc) that I would just disrupt.
I think I could go for that every once in awhile. Sounds like worship I wouldn’t screw up.
Tough to screw it up indeed! It fits our family quite well.
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