“The problem is, you love your family in your heart, but you don’t love them in your schedule. And they can’t see your heart.” – Andy Stanley, Choosing to Cheat
Choosing To Cheat by Andy Stanley
Do you have to work next Friday? Answer the question.
The honest answer is likely “No, I don’t have to work”. It’s also very that you said “Yes, I do have to work”. My friend Chris LoCurto has a daughter in the hospital right now with a medical condition that has changed their lives forever. Two weeks ago I saw Chris speak in front of 7,000 people. After his talk he got back in his car and returned to the hospital. Chris doesn’t have to work Friday and neither do you.
- But my child isn’t in the hospital.
- But I’m not a vice president so they won’t give me time off.
- But I’ve used all my vacation time for the year.
- But my kids will be in school all day.
Less excuses, more reasons
OK, got any other excuses you want to get out of your system? Chris has a great excuse to miss work, his daughter is in the hospital. Here’s a not fun question. Are you going to wait till your child is in the hospital to take time off of work? Are your kids going to remember another day of school or the time you took them out of school to spend a day with them? What does it take for us to make our family a priority? It usually takes a crisis. Andy Stanley wrote a phenomenal book entitled Choosing to Cheat. It’s about the battle for family or work to be the priority in our lives. The conversation isn’t about diminishing guilt as much as it is experiencing joy. Our family is the best source of joy we have out our disposal but more often we run to work for our ego to be stroked. Joy is about a shared experience. Ego is about us. More often we choose ego.
The truth is that we can probably take next Friday off.
- It might cost us a vacation day.
- It might cost us a day’s wage.
- It might cost us some productivity on a project.
- It might cost us in a relationship with a client that we have to reschedule a meeting with.
- It will cost something.
You need to work and you need your family
When you choose one thing you are rejecting another. It’s not an all or nothing game though. We cannot and should not choose one completely.
“Contentment is found neither in the marketplace nor the family alone. Tweet That It is found when we align our priorities with His as it relates to both areas of responsibility.” Andy Stanley, Choosing to Cheat
I want you to seriously consider taking a day off of work for the following reasons;
- Our families need us to be intentional about loving them.
- Our children and spouse need our full attention.
- We must trust that God will provide for our physical needs as we work to provide our families emotional needs.
- You can probably take the day off if you’re really honest with yourself.
- Choosing to take a day off to celebrate your family is always better than having to take a day off to manage a family crisis because of on-going neglect.
I have no idea what you do for a living, how much money you have in your savings account or what your relationship is like with your kids and spouse. I do know that we make choices every day that are difficult and this is one of those decisions. Do you think you’ll regret taking a day off? I doubt it.
The best decisions are ones that we make in advance and that benefit the most people. Why not make more of those? Tweet this
My name is Andy Traub and I help people tell their stories in a way that maximizes their impact. If you'd like to create your own custom channel to reach the world then I can help. Just 
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I am taking my Sunday School class through a bunch of Andy’s stuff.
We did Principle of the Path first. Now we are on The Best Question Ever.
This one is on the list. I’ve had the book for a while but haven’t taken the time to read it.
Hey AT. (Can you tell that I’m “In the Loop?”) Kudos on a great blog post! This is my first time reading your blog, but I’ve remedied that for future posts. I follow and learn from Chris LoCurto and Andy Stanley so you had me even before the insightful content! Prioritizing your family, really? Now that’s a maverick concept! The beginning quote is an eye-opener that, if applied, can prevent that “Cat’s in the Cradle syndrome” on day.
I catch a little good natured flack from some of my customers about our 4 day work week. It was an intentional decision designed to benefit our team and their families. They love it! It is one of our “signiture benefits” at Carver Door Company! Our VISION Statement : We will be the best in the eyes of our Families, Communities, Co-workers, Customers, & Vendors. (Notice the order.)
Looking forward to more great content! Thanks.
4 day work week. Love it brother. LOVE it. And nice musical reference.
I can still vividly remember my father taking off work and coming to have lunch with me when I was in preschool. I can remember being so excited and seeing him come in with his suit and tie on. We had painted place mats for them. I remember mine was supposed to be Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer.
Now I have a preschooler, and it makes me wonder what impression I’m leaving on him.
But I often find myself struggling with the opposite problem. I have the ability to work from home, but I find that I’m not getting enough done during the workday. For the sake of the sanity of me and my family, we’ve had to set up “office hours” for me. Not that those are inviolable rules – and hopefully as my kids age, they’ll understand the concept of work and play and scheduling. But keeping those days off to the occasional treat has helped us as a family.
Awesome stuff. Thanks for inspiring ME to keep spending time with my kids in unique environments. I won’t be wearing a suit though!
Great post Mr. Traub. I am going to definitely get that book. Currently reading his latest book Deep and Wide about him transiting from FB Atlanta to starting North Pointe.
Thought provoking post and one that we all need to step up to challenge for.