Thursday of last week we received a well written letter from our pastor explaining that he was moving to Texas to take a different job. Very few people saw it coming (including him in some ways). On Sunday morning he read that letter to the congregation, people discussed the news during our Sunday school class and in the lobby of the church. It was an emotional morning for many people who love him and his family and are sad to see him go. I get that some mourning has to take place when you hear your friend and leader is leaving but since I’m not too great at emotions I’m usually thinking of the practical steps that we should take.
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What should you do when you hear your pastor, your boss or anyone in a leadership position is leaving? I’ll answer that question from the perspective of a church member but you can apply the answers to many other groups with a leader in place.
1. Act normal. There is a tendency when the leader departs to put as many things on pause as possible. While major structural changes to the organization aren’t encouraged without a leader to help you see them through I think it’s a great time to consider getting more involved in your church family. Unity is key in any organization but in families it’s more important than almost anything. Do you want things to come to a halt? Do you want people to leave? Do you want people to fight to gain more power or influence in your leader’s absense? No. We want to keep the family moving forward into the world with good news through loving action. So do what you want to see done.
2. Consider leaving. Some people take the departure of a pastor as a pass to leave their church family. That deeply troubles me. It says you were there for one person and that’s not healthy. I believe it’s appropriate to leave your church family if there is a revolving door because of an unhealthy structure. If your leaders are being pressured by unrealistic expectations then either try to change that culture or go find a healthy one. Just like people who weren’t good spouses so they got divorced, only to find the same issues in their next marriage, church members can’t jump from one church to the next thinking the church will fix their involvement. You either care or your don’t so either dig in or admit your lack of commitment and start getting involved now.
3. Propose changes. Leaders create unique cultures. A void in that leadership position can become an open door for you to propose some changes or additions to the organization. This isn’t a way of “getting back at” the leader. Proposing something new in a time of transition is healthy because the family is in a time of evaluation. Evaluation is healthy and making change is healthy as long as it is well thought out. My wife and I are proposing adding marriage ministry to the core ministries at our our church over the summer not because our current pastor was resistant to the idea but because we’re feeling called to do so. Don’t push back God’s call or your own great ideas just because there’s a vacancy at the top. It’s a team game and everyone can and should contribute at all times.
4. Have productive conversations. Nothing good, healthy or productive will come from talking about your current leader in a negative way during this process. If you want to see a different kind of leader then talk about the characteristics you want to see. Don’t trash your current leader and their lack of ability in that specific area. There are always two ways to say most things. Don’t say, “We really need to get a pastor who has a master’s degree because Mike wasn’t educated enough and it showed when he preached.” Instead you should say, “I think it would be healthy for us to pursue someone with a higher degree because in my experience that adds to their knowledge as they teach on Sundays.” If you have questions about the leader’s departure ask the leader, no one else. If they are neutral questions about “Did they pursue him or did he pursue the position?” then perhaps you could ask others but most of the time our questions aren’t neutral. Even that example could be a question filled with gossip. When in doubt go to the source for the answer.
5. Keep working. It’s tempting to take a vacation from your responsibilities when there is a void in leadership. The rest of the staff can feel overwhelmed and they’ll be less likely to keep track of the work you’re doing. This is especially tempting if you reported to the now absent leader. Just because your boss is gone doesn’t mean your work doesn’t need to be completed. In this case when a pastor is gone we shouldn’t change much of anything about our daily lives as believers. Pastors provide teaching, encouragement and leadership but every Christian should have a Bible and can talk to God. If you’re feeling stuck on what to do then open your Bible and start reading or just ask God what He wants from you. Don’t use a vacancy in your church to stop doing work that’s much larger than your church. When in doubt, lean in to the work, not away from it.
What actions have you seen when there was a transition in leadership that were helpful or hurtful?
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Hey Andy,
Great post. I think my experience in rural South Dakota (towns of less than 2,000) and now my experience in Turkey have both made me think about “leadership” in churches quite differently. In my rural experience, it has often seemed that churches live or die on leadership. Parishoners have handed over all responsiblity for spiritual development and growth to one man (or woman) and so when there is good leadership (dynamic speaker, good people skills, spiritual passion) things go well. When those things are missing, things go poorly – people leave or worse, stay and fall into sour apathy. We’ve placed all of our eggs in one basket and it’s killing us. And it is getting worse because we’ve gone to a superstar model of looking for “Next Generation Leaders” and unintentionaly promoting the idea at giant conferences like Catalyst. I love Catalyst but I wonder if placing such high standards on pastors hinders real growth, real discipleship. It seems a leader leaving is only a real problem when we have turned over all resposiblity for our spiritual direction and growth to a good one. I wonder if we would do better to take our elders’ responsibilities more seriously, to put more on their shoulders and allow their to be a plurality of leadership. Pastors would be pastors. Teachers teachers. And the church would be lead by elders rather than by one “Preacher/Pastor/Administrator/Leader. My tiime in Turkey has only served to make me think this is not only a bit closer to the New Testament model, but the only way to rid churches of the 80/20 rule – 20% of the people doing 80% of the work. Now as we return, I wonder if it will be difficult to go back to a model that may be in need of reform. Just my two cents.
Great thoughts brother. The word that comes to mind is “abdicate” – http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/abdicate
It means to relinquish authority and power formally. Not a good thing when we’re all supposed to be part of the body. The idea of a church lead by elders is very appealing, perhaps because of my democratic leanings or perhaps because it’s biblical. I wonder where we can see that successfully?
Andy, I completely agree with you.
Especially #3. Just as a leader is called to something new, any organization that is in a state of flux should look at different options. The core message of a church/business most likely will not change, but how things are done might. I am sure your church wanted good marriages before your pastor resigned. Now might be the time to put that ministry in the forefront.
Great observation. They do want to make it a priority but wanting and doing are very different things so now it’s time to DO. Thanks for commenting brother.
I enjoy in the Loop podcast, thank you for letting know of your blog in this week show.
Great job. Please keep up great work. I would do by bit spread word around. The good news is as world gets flat, issues are becoming same like lack of faith etc.
KARTHIK
Bangalore.
Honored that you took the time to read and comment Karthik. You’re right about the fact that we have universal issues. Great point.