Men try to give off an air of confidence but most wives are surprised to learn where that confidence comes from. Watch this video to find out where we get our confidence.
Wives, do these three things
1. Thank your husband for things he does do.
2. Thank you husband for something he doesn’t do.
3. Acknowledge something he got better at (but still needs to improve on).
Men need encouragement.
Most of us live and die by it and the truly scary thought is that if we don’t get it from our wives we will seek to get it somewhere else. Gary Chapman calls these words, “Word of affirmation” in his phenomenal book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts
Hey wives, did you do this and if so what was his response?
Hey husbands, show this to your wife and let me know what she says.
My name is Andy Traub and I help people tell their stories in a way that maximizes their impact. If you'd like to create your own custom channel to reach the world then I can help. Just 
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Great Stuff Andy ! We forget that men and women are so different.
I don’t know why we forget that but you’re right. We do.
My wife would tell me she needs this too. And it sucks because I’m not good at giving it to her.
I have a feeling you’re going to get better. Today’s a good day to start right?
so, we are doing some major MAJOR de-cluttering and “staging” for our upcoming house going on the market (TODAY!). This weekend we spend HOURS working around the house on different things. One thing my husband told me on Sunday (we were both exhausted and just plain worn out) was that he wished I had TOLD him/affirmed all the things that he did for us this past weekend. I, like you said, assumed he knew I thought he did awesome (proof was in our empty basement and sunroom). Apparently, I needed to use WORDS. I will do all the things you said. And try and do them more often. Thanks for letting me know what “you guys” are thinking!
First, the house looks great.
Second, I’m glad you figured that out. You’re a great wife.
Thank you Andy.
I am not married, but still found use from this. I am currently reading Love and Respect so I can learn things now. This book is on my to read list. This is a reminder to guys that they need more than love, but respect and that is what you showed here.
K, bye
Learn it now brother….learn it now.
That is what I keep hearing.
K, bye
So I was trying to figure out where I had seen that picture that says “men” on it, and realized I remember you saying that was part of your office’s bathroom signs. made me laugh.
Great Podcast Andy! Absolutely Nail On!!! Reposted it.
Thanks brother.
I once was married, but now currently have a male roommate. I try to keep a high degree of respect in our relationship, so I thank him all the time for the chores that he does. However, he gets annoyed and tells me that I don’t have to thank him for something he is supposed to do. I’ve tried explaining to him that it’s my way to show appreciation for what he’s done, and now he seems less annoyed (verbally), but still seems a little agitated (through body language) when I thank him. Have you run into this, and what does it mean? Is it because he was secretly mad at me for having to do the chore and feels guilty when I thank him, so he tells me I don’t have to? I’m not sure what to make of it.
Melissa, you’ve got a classic case of love language miscommunication. Your boyfriend’s love language apparently isn’t words of affirmation. That’s pretty rare for guys but it can be the case. If you read that book – The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman – then you’ll understand what I’m talking about. We all have five love languages but our top two love languages make up about 80% of the ways we feel loved. So if my wife understand my top two love languages and exercises them then I feel REALLY loved. Find out what his love languages are and speak them!
I hope that helps and I hope you two tie the knot sometime. I’m unashamedly pro-marriage and anti-living together until you’re married BUT most of all I want you two to have a long and happy marriage. Thanks for reading and commenting. Let me know if that helps ok?
Andy, My wife agrees! Men need as much affirmation as women need…
Dear Andy,
Thank you i have been looking for something to help my husband feel better about himself because we are in a bad situation right now. But I also wanted to know could he be down because he remembers the bad comments I have said to him? Thank you for this advice
Sincerely,Emily