I’ve hated this about myself for over twenty years. Every day for the last 20 years I’ve thought about it, every single day. I’m embarrassed by it and it’s held me back in ways I’ll never be able to quantify. It’s my kryptonite.
It’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced. I’ve had total control over it but I’ve neglected it. Every day I made a withdrawal from it. You can only do that so long. I could only do that so long.
What happens when you confront your greatest weakness?
Everything becomes manageable when you confront your greatest challenge.(Highlight to tweet/share) I remember an interview with the head coach of a college football team that had been crushed by penalties. They were rebuilding the program. They asked him about how hard it would be to rebuild the program and he said it wouldn’t be as hard as it is having a child with a disability, which he and his wife have. He had a larger challenge in his life so coaching a team wasn’t as scary.
I’m confronting my greatest embarrassment. I’m confronting it because it’s finally causing me enough pain. I’ve been sick and tired of it for many, many years but I’m finally sick and tired of being sick and tired.
There will be many starting points
This morning was my first appointment and I sat in a chair for three and a half hours while they worked on me. They’re just getting started. When I left my appointment I sat in my car for 30 minutes just staring out into nothing. My mind was tired. My spirit was tired. This is a long battle and I just started, but I started.
I had confronted my greatest fear, my greatest embarrassment. I was weary.
Everything becomes doable
Then I went on with my day and something powerful happened. Nothing felt like a challenge. I had already confronted my biggest challenge for three and half hours in that chair.
When we confront our biggest challenges we prove that we can conquer everything else. (Highlight to tweet/share)
What is your greatest weakness?
What do you hate the most about yourself?
Is it something about your body?
Is it your attitude?
Is it where you live?
Is it your job?
Is it your car?
Is it your friends?
Is it your income?
Is it your lack of energy?
Is it your past?
What do you want to change that would prove you can change anything?
It might be the hardest thing you’ll ever do
We don’t touch it because it seems too much. It’s 200 pounds. It’s a job we can’t leave. It’s the friendship we don’t know how to end.
What if we could change it? What if the pounds eventually went away? What if there was another job? What if there was a healthy friendship waiting for you? What if you could change that one thing?
What else would change in your life?
How to enter into change
Alcoholics Anonymous and Christianity are based on this premise, “I am broken and I can’t fix myself.” You don’t need to “come to Jesus” if you’re not broken.
Your largest issue is real and you can’t fix it alone. (Highlight to tweet/share)
[Tweet “Your largest issue is real and you can’t fix it alone.”]
Seven Steps To Finally Defeating It
Step one: Admit you’re broken and want to change. This requires humility. We all want perfect Instagram worthy lives but life isn’t like that. Life is messy. (Highlight to tweet/share) Admit the issue. Say it out loud.
Step two: Ask for help. You haven’t been able to beat this alone. If you could you would have fixed it by now. You would have lost the weight, found a different job or fixed whatever big issue in your life that you want to go away.
I started by telling my wife I was afraid and embarrassed. I wrote her an email because I communicate better in that medium. Do whatever it takes to communicate your feelings as they really are.
Step three: Get professional help. You might need a trainer, counselor, or a health professional. Don’t discount natural methods before going to the medical establishment. God’s creation has a lot of healing powers in it and they’re often much less expensive and more effective than our traditional medical system. I had to go to traditional medicine and I’m ok with that. I needed their help. Whatever you do to get help, get help.
Step four: Go public with friends. I didn’t go public to friends because I was showing how strong I was. I called out my issue because I was tired of carrying it all myself. When you expose the thing you fear the most it can’t go hide again. (Highlight to tweet/share) When you show those you love that you need help and want to change, they’ll help. (Highlight to tweet/share) Not all of them will help but many of them will. Remember, you need help.
Does asking for help mean you’re weak? Yes, it does. But who said you have to be strong? (Highlight to tweet/share)
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit your weaknesses. (Highlight to tweet/share)
[Tweet “Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit your weaknesses.”]
I posted my fear on Facebook because my Facebook friends are my actual friends. I have a public page for my business/brand and then I have a Facebook profile. My Facebook friends get me. In less than 24 hours I got 38 likes and almost 30 comments. I didn’t expect that but I’m not surprised by it either. I have great friends and they love me. I just needed to let them know where I needed their love and encouragement.
Step Five: Let people love you. People love you. Give people a chance to love you. Be honest with them. Be strong and admit your weaknesses. Admit your struggles and clearly state “I want to change and here’s what I’m doing about it.”
Step Six: Go back to the professional You’re going to be tempted to go back to trying to fix it yourself. Don’t do that. You can’t fix it. It’s taken you a long time to get here and you need help. Don’t fall back into the superhero role. You’re not your own savior. Accept the help.
A practical tip is to make the next appointment at the end of each one. Keep making appointments or setting up meetings so you’re locked in to taking action.
Step Seven: Take complete responsibility for your future The rest of your life is your responsibility. If you’re overweight because your parents taught you to eat crappy food or you hate your job because your boss is a jerk face then I get it. You’re taking responsibility from here on out. Decide now that your future is your responsibility. (Highlight to tweet/share)
You will be encouraged.
You will be supported.
You will improve your life.
You will confront your biggest obstacle.
When you confront the worst thing everything else becomes achievable.
