Take Permission

The Right Tools & Mindset For Success

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Love The One You've Got

When you live in South Dakota, you experience stretches of several weeks when it doesn’t get above freezing. You get conditioned to it.

South Dakota Porch Snow

You have a normal but so do North Koreans. That’s proof that anyone can become conditioned.

Normal and conditioned have nothing to do with what’s right or best.

New = Better?

We are convinced and conditioned to believe that newer is better. That’s why we buy more things, upgrade them, and sometimes give up on relationships.

New is better.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that. It’s not always true.

If you’re struggling in a relationship and you’re considering quitting, remember that new isn’t always better.

Love the one you’ve got.

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Everything Great Begins With Belief

The key to life is not ability, it’s belief. Nothing is more important than belief, nothing.

Action matters of course but how often do we act without believing first? Everything great begins with belief.

everything great begins with belief

  • If you’re in sales and don’t believe in your product customers can tell. You’ll sell less.
  • If your child doesn’t believe they’re good at math, spelling or ballet, they won’t be.
  • If you think you’ll never live in a different place, you won’t.
  • If you think you’re undeserving of love then you’ll never feel loved.
  • If you’re convinced the world is out to get you then it will be.
  • If you believe your marriage will thrive it has a chance to thrive.
  • If you believe you can make more money you will think of ways to do it.

What You Should Believe In

Circumstances
Is there going to be an open parking spot? Is the sermon going to be good this week? Are you going to do a good job at work today? Is driving to work going to be enjoyable?

When we make the assumption that things are going to be good we are setting ourselves up for joy, not failure. I’d rather my children expect Christmas morning to be great and then have their hopes fulfilled than to have them expect it to be horrible. We know people who expect the worst, they don’t enjoy the life they’re given. We can believe our circumstances will benefit us for no other reason than life is better when we expect a good outcome.

Coworkers
People know when we believe in them. If you vocalize this belief it’s even more powerful. You spend a lot of time at work around people who share the same goals as you. Do you believe in them? Do they know you believe in them? Their performance and their attitude while they’re working will drastically change when they know you believe in them.

What if they’re not worth believing in? That’s a fair question but it’s irrelevant. If they’re not capable that will come to light no matter what. If they are capable your belief will increase their performance and their perception of themselves. Belief is an injection of hope and you can dispense as much of it as you want.

Your Spouse
The most dangerous emotional state in marriage is not anger, it’s indifference. When you believe the best of your spouse you won’t see them slighting you at every turn. You’ll assume the best. If you believe your marriage has great potential then it has great potential. If you believe neither of you are capable of changing, then you’re probably right.

This isn’t about lying to yourself about the current state of your relationship, it’s about believing that the present is an opportunity to grow when the present is a trial.

Other than your belief in yourself your belief in your spouse has the greatest effect on your life.

  • It is a fulfillment of your vows
  • It will deeply change their identity
  • It will make them a better parent
  • It will make your marriage more enjoyable
  • It will enable both of you to withstand difficult times
  • It increases the chance your spouse will also communicate believe in you

Yourself
Let’s not the most important person in your life, you! It’s true, you are the most important person in your life. We risk being selfish in this moment so let me clarify what I mean when I say you should have belief in yourself.

  1. Believe you need help. This means I shouldn’t go through life alone.
  2. Believe you can’t earn everything. Accepting the gift of another person’s love, be it your spouse, a friend or God, is something that only happens when we believe we can’t earn that love.
  3. Believe you’ll never get it right. Perfection is not your goal, your potential is. Perfection is a distraction from creating not a reasonable goal.
  4. Believe you’ve got your own race to run. Comparison is a fast track to discouragement. You must run our own race and escape the trap that comparison creates. Your goal is your potential, not the abilities or achievements of others.

What To Do If You Struggle With Belief

Consume more belief
Saturday Night Live made this a funny skit but affirmations matter. You need to hear positive messages of belief. Books and blogs like this one are a great place to start.

Surround yourself with belief
If you’re constantly struggling with belief your best friends and coworkers probably are too. We are who we spend our time with. Find people who inject belief in your life and if you can’t find any it’s better to be alone with a positive book then together with a negative person.

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Why We Worry About Work When We're With Our Family

Worrying about work, or the inability to stop working when we should be investing in our family isn’t because we’re selfish, it’s because we lack faith.

If you and I really believed that God would provide for us then we could work hard and then stop. But we don’t work hard and then stop. We work hard and then work some more and then work a little bit more. Then we check our email one more time before going to bed. You get the point.

Our boundaries between work and family are lousy. (highlight to tweet)

Storybrooke creek caroline

The reason you worry is normal. It’s human. I struggle with it even though I know it too.

Worry About Work from Andy Traub on Vimeo.

How to stop worrying about work

Either God cares about you or He doesn’t. Either He will provide for you or He won’t. That’s His job. Our job is to work diligently and then when we’re done working to work hard on being present with our family.

  • Stop working at a specific time every day, no matter what
  • Leave your phone in the car when you go out with your family
  • Make your bedroom an email free zone
  • Schedule time with your spouse and your kids just like you do appointments with co-workers
  • Ask God to give you great effectiveness at work
  • Thank God for His provision
  • Repent of not being grateful and for not having faith that He will provide

None of this is that complicated. I’m encouraging you to let God be God and you be you. You’re the parent. You’re the spouse. You’ve got your job with your family and your job with your employer. Do them both well but do them both separately and with intentionality.

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How To Waste Your Life 1-Second at a Time

You didn’t think about dying today. There was no urgency because it’s just another day.

You woke up and went about your life like you do every other day. You let your grass grow taller, the car go unwashed, your kids go without a good conversation with their mom or dad and weeks without truly connecting with the people you love most.

How can we waste so much time but never be bored? How are we wasting our lives?

We waste our lives 1-second at a time.

[Tweet “We waste our lives 1-second at a time.”]

Today Instagram (owned by Facebook) announced a new app called Boomerang. I’m not linking to it in this post because I don’t want you to download it. You can now create and post 1-second videos. My parent’s generation put a man on the moon. My generation built an app to post 1-second looping video clips.

Please don’t. Please don’t take the time to create 1-second videos. If you think it’s not harmful I disagree. You don’t get the time back that it takes to capture that “perfect second”.

You can waste your life.

You can waste your life being distracted by the endless options to talk about life instead of living it.

[Tweet “You can waste your life being distracted by the endless options to talk about life instead of living it. “]

I waste massive portions of my life and I’m tired of it. Aren’t you tired of it too?

Your life is too important to spend it making 1-second videos.

[Tweet “Your life is too important to spend it making 1-second videos.”]

How do we waste so much time?

Apps.
Open tabs in your browser.
Updates.
Pictures.
Tweets.
Posts.

They waste your life, 1-second, 140 characters or one filtered picture at a time. They don’t have control though, you do.

It’s ok to create digital content but are you using it as an outlet for a life you’re living or as a substitute for living a good life?

Not all things that are permissible are beneficial.

Skip the app. Do something that matters with those minutes because that 1-second app takes a lot longer than 1-second to use.

Read a book that makes you think. Listen to your heart and ask yourself how healthy it is. Ask your spouse about the condition of their heart. Call someone to encourage them. Anyone, about anything.

We get one life. Don’t waste it on 1-second videos.

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Work-life Balance is a Stupid Idea

“Work-life balance” implies that when one is happening the other isn’t. It implies that “work” takes and “life” gives. Work doesn’t take from our life, it gives life meaning if we allow it to.

Work-life Synergy

We need work-life synergy, not work-life balance. Work should dance with the rest of our life. Work is a component of a great life, not an opponent to it.

Life isn’t what it was meant to be when we don’t do meaningful work.

Stop trying to achieve work life balance. Mix them together. Life cannot be great without doing meaningful work.

[Tweet “Life cannot be great without doing meaningful work. “]

We Get To Ascribe The Meaning

Mothers, writers, baristas, and pastors all feel their work is thankless, unappreciated and many days unproductive. The truth is that we ascribe meaning to our work.

  • Mothers bring into the world then shape the future of our world.
  • Writers birth words and use them to influence culture.
  • Baristas create drinks and shape the day of each customer they greet.
  • Pastors bring vision to their church family and remind them of a forever life.

Work has meaning if we give it meaning. There’s no need to balance it with life.
[Tweet “Work has meaning if we give it meaning. There’s no need to balance it with life. “]