Take Permission

The Right Tools & Mindset For Success

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Love The One You've Got

When you live in South Dakota, you experience stretches of several weeks when it doesn’t get above freezing. You get conditioned to it.

South Dakota Porch Snow

You have a normal but so do North Koreans. That’s proof that anyone can become conditioned.

Normal and conditioned have nothing to do with what’s right or best.

New = Better?

We are convinced and conditioned to believe that newer is better. That’s why we buy more things, upgrade them, and sometimes give up on relationships.

New is better.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that. It’s not always true.

If you’re struggling in a relationship and you’re considering quitting, remember that new isn’t always better.

Love the one you’ve got.

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It Matters What You Measure

measure

It’s easier to count the number of employees, your account balances, or the number of clients and feel like you’re winning at the game of life. Life isn’t a game though.

More means that we are winning, right?

What if we’re accumulating the wrong things?

Generosity, joy, peace, self-control, connection, vulnerability, humility; those are things we can’t have too much of.

To get the life you want you must measure what matters and then work to grow those things.

What You Can Measure

How many times you compliment your spouse.
How many times an employee says thank you for their job.
How many times you help around the house.
How many times you tell your child you love them.
How many days you come home on time from work.
How many hours of sleep you get.
How many times you make a stranger smile.
How often you pray for your enemies.
How many friends you can call to say simply, “I appreciate you.”

If You’re In a Slump

Slumps can happen when we’re measuring the wrong things. What we measure is what matters to us.

If you’re in a slump then it’s nice to see you, I’m in one too. It happens to the best of us.

Measure the right things. It’s the key to a worthwhile life.

What are you going to measure?

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How To Waste Your Life 1-Second at a Time

You didn’t think about dying today. There was no urgency because it’s just another day.

You woke up and went about your life like you do every other day. You let your grass grow taller, the car go unwashed, your kids go without a good conversation with their mom or dad and weeks without truly connecting with the people you love most.

How can we waste so much time but never be bored? How are we wasting our lives?

We waste our lives 1-second at a time.

[Tweet “We waste our lives 1-second at a time.”]

Today Instagram (owned by Facebook) announced a new app called Boomerang. I’m not linking to it in this post because I don’t want you to download it. You can now create and post 1-second videos. My parent’s generation put a man on the moon. My generation built an app to post 1-second looping video clips.

Please don’t. Please don’t take the time to create 1-second videos. If you think it’s not harmful I disagree. You don’t get the time back that it takes to capture that “perfect second”.

You can waste your life.

You can waste your life being distracted by the endless options to talk about life instead of living it.

[Tweet “You can waste your life being distracted by the endless options to talk about life instead of living it. “]

I waste massive portions of my life and I’m tired of it. Aren’t you tired of it too?

Your life is too important to spend it making 1-second videos.

[Tweet “Your life is too important to spend it making 1-second videos.”]

How do we waste so much time?

Apps.
Open tabs in your browser.
Updates.
Pictures.
Tweets.
Posts.

They waste your life, 1-second, 140 characters or one filtered picture at a time. They don’t have control though, you do.

It’s ok to create digital content but are you using it as an outlet for a life you’re living or as a substitute for living a good life?

Not all things that are permissible are beneficial.

Skip the app. Do something that matters with those minutes because that 1-second app takes a lot longer than 1-second to use.

Read a book that makes you think. Listen to your heart and ask yourself how healthy it is. Ask your spouse about the condition of their heart. Call someone to encourage them. Anyone, about anything.

We get one life. Don’t waste it on 1-second videos.

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Work-life Balance is a Stupid Idea

“Work-life balance” implies that when one is happening the other isn’t. It implies that “work” takes and “life” gives. Work doesn’t take from our life, it gives life meaning if we allow it to.

Work-life Synergy

We need work-life synergy, not work-life balance. Work should dance with the rest of our life. Work is a component of a great life, not an opponent to it.

Life isn’t what it was meant to be when we don’t do meaningful work.

Stop trying to achieve work life balance. Mix them together. Life cannot be great without doing meaningful work.

[Tweet “Life cannot be great without doing meaningful work. “]

We Get To Ascribe The Meaning

Mothers, writers, baristas, and pastors all feel their work is thankless, unappreciated and many days unproductive. The truth is that we ascribe meaning to our work.

  • Mothers bring into the world then shape the future of our world.
  • Writers birth words and use them to influence culture.
  • Baristas create drinks and shape the day of each customer they greet.
  • Pastors bring vision to their church family and remind them of a forever life.

Work has meaning if we give it meaning. There’s no need to balance it with life.
[Tweet “Work has meaning if we give it meaning. There’s no need to balance it with life. “]

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Seven Steps To Defeating Your Greatest Weakness

I’ve hated this about myself for over twenty years. Every day for the last 20 years I’ve thought about it, every single day. I’m embarrassed by it and it’s held me back in ways I’ll never be able to quantify. It’s my kryptonite.

It’s the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced. I’ve had total control over it but I’ve neglected it. Every day I made a withdrawal from it. You can only do that so long. I could only do that so long.

seven steps defeating

What happens when you confront your greatest weakness?

Everything becomes manageable when you confront your greatest challenge.(Highlight to tweet/share) I remember an interview with the head coach of a college football team that had been crushed by penalties. They were rebuilding the program. They asked him about how hard it would be to rebuild the program and he said it wouldn’t be as hard as it is having a child with a disability, which he and his wife have. He had a larger challenge in his life so coaching a team wasn’t as scary.

I’m confronting my greatest embarrassment. I’m confronting it because it’s finally causing me enough pain. I’ve been sick and tired of it for many, many years but I’m finally sick and tired of being sick and tired.

There will be many starting points

This morning was my first appointment and I sat in a chair for three and a half hours while they worked on me. They’re just getting started. When I left my appointment I sat in my car for 30 minutes just staring out into nothing. My mind was tired. My spirit was tired. This is a long battle and I just started, but I started.

I had confronted my greatest fear, my greatest embarrassment. I was weary.

Everything becomes doable

Then I went on with my day and something powerful happened. Nothing felt like a challenge. I had already confronted my biggest challenge for three and half hours in that chair.

When we confront our biggest challenges we prove that we can conquer everything else. (Highlight to tweet/share)

What is your greatest weakness?

What do you hate the most about yourself?

Is it something about your body?
Is it your attitude?
Is it where you live?
Is it your job?
Is it your car?
Is it your friends?
Is it your income?
Is it your lack of energy?
Is it your past?

What do you want to change that would prove you can change anything?

It might be the hardest thing you’ll ever do

We don’t touch it because it seems too much. It’s 200 pounds. It’s a job we can’t leave. It’s the friendship we don’t know how to end.

What if we could change it? What if the pounds eventually went away? What if there was another job? What if there was a healthy friendship waiting for you? What if you could change that one thing?

What else would change in your life?

How to enter into change

Alcoholics Anonymous and Christianity are based on this premise, “I am broken and I can’t fix myself.” You don’t need to “come to Jesus” if you’re not broken.

Your largest issue is real and you can’t fix it alone. (Highlight to tweet/share)

[Tweet “Your largest issue is real and you can’t fix it alone.”]

Seven Steps To Finally Defeating It

Step one: Admit you’re broken and want to change. This requires humility. We all want perfect Instagram worthy lives but life isn’t like that. Life is messy. (Highlight to tweet/share) Admit the issue. Say it out loud.

Step two: Ask for help. You haven’t been able to beat this alone. If you could you would have fixed it by now. You would have lost the weight, found a different job or fixed whatever big issue in your life that you want to go away.

I started by telling my wife I was afraid and embarrassed. I wrote her an email because I communicate better in that medium. Do whatever it takes to communicate your feelings as they really are.

Step three: Get professional help. You might need a trainer, counselor, or a health professional. Don’t discount natural methods before going to the medical establishment. God’s creation has a lot of healing powers in it and they’re often much less expensive and more effective than our traditional medical system. I had to go to traditional medicine and I’m ok with that. I needed their help. Whatever you do to get help, get help.

Step four: Go public with friends. I didn’t go public to friends because I was showing how strong I was. I called out my issue because I was tired of carrying it all myself. When you expose the thing you fear the most it can’t go hide again. (Highlight to tweet/share) When you show those you love that you need help and want to change, they’ll help. (Highlight to tweet/share) Not all of them will help but many of them will. Remember, you need help.

Does asking for help mean you’re weak? Yes, it does. But who said you have to be strong? (Highlight to tweet/share)

Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit your weaknesses. (Highlight to tweet/share)

[Tweet “Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is admit your weaknesses.”]

I posted my fear on Facebook because my Facebook friends are my actual friends. I have a public page for my business/brand and then I have a Facebook profile. My Facebook friends get me. In less than 24 hours I got 38 likes and almost 30 comments. I didn’t expect that but I’m not surprised by it either. I have great friends and they love me. I just needed to let them know where I needed their love and encouragement.

Admit publicly

Step Five: Let people love you. People love you. Give people a chance to love you. Be honest with them. Be strong and admit your weaknesses. Admit your struggles and clearly state “I want to change and here’s what I’m doing about it.”

Step Six: Go back to the professional You’re going to be tempted to go back to trying to fix it yourself. Don’t do that. You can’t fix it. It’s taken you a long time to get here and you need help. Don’t fall back into the superhero role. You’re not your own savior. Accept the help.

A practical tip is to make the next appointment at the end of each one. Keep making appointments or setting up meetings so you’re locked in to taking action.

Step Seven: Take complete responsibility for your future The rest of your life is your responsibility. If you’re overweight because your parents taught you to eat crappy food or you hate your job because your boss is a jerk face then I get it. You’re taking responsibility from here on out. Decide now that your future is your responsibility. (Highlight to tweet/share)

You will be encouraged.
You will be supported.
You will improve your life.
You will confront your biggest obstacle.

When you confront the worst thing everything else becomes achievable.

What are you going to confront?