The key to life is not ability, it’s belief. Nothing is more important than belief, nothing.
Action matters of course but how often do we act without believing first? Everything great begins with belief.
- If you’re in sales and don’t believe in your product customers can tell. You’ll sell less.
- If your child doesn’t believe they’re good at math, spelling or ballet, they won’t be.
- If you think you’ll never live in a different place, you won’t.
- If you think you’re undeserving of love then you’ll never feel loved.
- If you’re convinced the world is out to get you then it will be.
- If you believe your marriage will thrive it has a chance to thrive.
- If you believe you can make more money you will think of ways to do it.
What You Should Believe In
Is there going to be an open parking spot? Is the sermon going to be good this week? Are you going to do a good job at work today? Is driving to work going to be enjoyable?
When we make the assumption that things are going to be good we are setting ourselves up for joy, not failure. I’d rather my children expect Christmas morning to be great and then have their hopes fulfilled than to have them expect it to be horrible. We know people who expect the worst, they don’t enjoy the life they’re given. We can believe our circumstances will benefit us for no other reason than life is better when we expect a good outcome.
People know when we believe in them. If you vocalize this belief it’s even more powerful. You spend a lot of time at work around people who share the same goals as you. Do you believe in them? Do they know you believe in them? Their performance and their attitude while they’re working will drastically change when they know you believe in them.
What if they’re not worth believing in? That’s a fair question but it’s irrelevant. If they’re not capable that will come to light no matter what. If they are capable your belief will increase their performance and their perception of themselves. Belief is an injection of hope and you can dispense as much of it as you want.
The most dangerous emotional state in marriage is not anger, it’s indifference. When you believe the best of your spouse you won’t see them slighting you at every turn. You’ll assume the best. If you believe your marriage has great potential then it has great potential. If you believe neither of you are capable of changing, then you’re probably right.
This isn’t about lying to yourself about the current state of your relationship, it’s about believing that the present is an opportunity to grow when the present is a trial.
Other than your belief in yourself your belief in your spouse has the greatest effect on your life.
- It is a fulfillment of your vows
- It will deeply change their identity
- It will make them a better parent
- It will make your marriage more enjoyable
- It will enable both of you to withstand difficult times
- It increases the chance your spouse will also communicate believe in you
Let’s not the most important person in your life, you! It’s true, you are the most important person in your life. We risk being selfish in this moment so let me clarify what I mean when I say you should have belief in yourself.
- Believe you need help. This means I shouldn’t go through life alone.
- Believe you can’t earn everything. Accepting the gift of another person’s love, be it your spouse, a friend or God, is something that only happens when we believe we can’t earn that love.
- Believe you’ll never get it right. Perfection is not your goal, your potential is. Perfection is a distraction from creating not a reasonable goal.
- Believe you’ve got your own race to run. Comparison is a fast track to discouragement. You must run our own race and escape the trap that comparison creates. Your goal is your potential, not the abilities or achievements of others.
What To Do If You Struggle With Belief
Consume more belief
Saturday Night Live made this a funny skit but affirmations matter. You need to hear positive messages of belief. Books and blogs like this one are a great place to start.
Surround yourself with belief
If you’re constantly struggling with belief your best friends and coworkers probably are too. We are who we spend our time with. Find people who inject belief in your life and if you can’t find any it’s better to be alone with a positive book then together with a negative person.